The world was running low of "-ist" terms to properly police the speech of others, so today I learned of a new one (to me). It's "size-ist" and it's reeeeeally reeeeeeally bad. When describing a fellow humyn (ah, you thought you'd catch me using a peno-centric term!), never, ever mention their size, for therein lies a form of discrimination you may not even be aware you're engaged in. Some folks have been made to publicly and repeatedly apologize for their size-ism. You don't want to be one of them! There is a prison made for people like you and the warders know what's best for everyone. Posted: type or speak at your own risk!

By means of an example: I know person who shall remain nameless who once referred to someone as big as a "mack truck," but it was overheard as the individual having said "fat fuck." That was punishable by ten years in a gulag and a prolonged infection of sensitivity training. The "mack truck" comment would have only been punishable by nine years of forced internment in West Philly and a steady diet of gluten-free products.

My new public awareness campaign will be called "Size-ism Matters!" and will feature the image of a really small white banana beside a really large black banana.